You may have read the definition of insanity by Albert Einstein, as I’ve also heard my pastor use that example several times while preaching to the congregation; “You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results!” That is so true. Whether in marriages, relationships, jobs, and the list goes on. But until you’ve experienced that same repetitive and vicious cycle, then you wouldn’t understand being disappointed in yourself for repeating the same mistakes. That can even go along with poor choices in eating habits. It’s a huge step to have a made-up mind when it comes to changing anything! But there’s always been a first time for everything.

I’d like to share seven ways that I have been encouraged with some eating issues.

Have you ever been convicted for how you eat or what you ate or didn’t? I’m sure you might think that’s a little overboard. But (#1) rehearsing that quote by Einstein is a great reminder for me to stay convinced as to why this is for my good.

Over the years, my best shot at eating right may have lasted a week before giving in to my weakness at least once or twice (sweets). After all, who can have their Jiffy peanut butter (7 grams of sugar) without jelly (14g) and bread (2g), pancakes (2g) without syrup (15g), and mind you this all depends on how much you eat, but that’s not sweets, that’s just breakfast and a sandwich, right? Well, that just makes it sound better to digest. It’s not until you begin paying attention that you know the truth about how much of this white or brown substance you are eating and drinking (apple juice 30g) until you start looking (#2), but hey, whose counting sugar intake? These are just a few bad choices that are easy enough to come by, but I will share some good choices another day.

In times past I found that making a goal too hard to reach from the beginning would always play a huge part in my downfall. So, this time I decided to begin with sugar (as you may have read in my previous blog) since my blood sugar was going crazy. It took a couple of days and I was more than willing to remove nearly all of the foods from my diet that were loaded with sugar, with the exception of 1 to 2 teaspoons a day for my coffee. I am finding that eating fresh fruit is enough for my sweet tooth as I learn more about what is truly considered a healthy snack. That is with the Lord’s help, and mind you, He can’t without our willingness.

(#3) Set a goal that you really think you can live with. (Example: Avoid caffeine for 3 days, skip desserts for 3- 7 days, avoid any starchy foods for 3 days, just start somewhere and see if you can succeed and then try to carry on with that goal even further or change it up.)

In addition to these things, I made up my mind this was not about losing weight. If it happened, that would be the cherry on top. But not the Maraschino cherries because they are soaked in high fructose corn syrup and have 2 grams per cherry. (Studies show that the fresh tart-sweet cherries can reduce pain from arthritis and post-exercise soreness. One study showed this particular fruit has the highest anti-inflammatory content of any food). But back to making my mind up – this was not about losing weight – and that has already proven to be a benefactor of just eating right. So, decide that (#4) it’s for your health and not your weight.

You may not have time to read labels in the store just yet but let me encourage you to start by (#5) organizing and cleaning out your food pantry or cabinets. And while you’re there, take a close look at what items contain sugar (that may not be your goal, but just look at how much is there and at the same time you can accomplish organization). You may have more rubbish or even out of date items on your shelves than you imagined. I found it helpful to stop procrastinating and just ditch the junk food. There ended up being three trash bags full of unhealthy foods that was tossed. (Later I will discuss processed foods.)

These days I don’t get out of the house much, but I do recall when I used to pamper myself on occasions. And the reality has hit me this past week that it always involved what was on the outside. Whether it was a pedicure or getting my hair cut and frosted. The high I received from giving myself that kind of attention didn’t last but a day or two, and in each of those quarterly events, I would splurge with eating out and always treat myself with dessert. My point in sharing this part is that all the while – I was missing the importance of what I needed to care for the most; My temple (body). Now that could go several ways when it comes to speaking spiritually, but I’ll stick with my purpose for this. Point (#6) was that I lacked: Giving my gut the attention – it desperately needed. Reminder: This will operate our mind and body to work at its best.

Not everyone is concerned about eating right, just like everyone is not worried about living right (pleasing to the Lord). And although that is sad, it’s also true. I understand because I’ve been there with both issues on numerous occasions, but for those that are interested I will end this note with the seventh way that I have been so enthused to continue with eating healthy. (#7) – Watching videos that enlighten me about an improper diet and what it does to the inside.

I would like to share this link and hope you will watch its entirety. It has really helped me have “different results.” And I hope it does for you too. {Please leave a message with what you think about the video if you would like.)

Watch: The Sugar Film 2014 on Netflix or you can rent it on YouTube.

This is the link to the trailer: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3892434/

Please Note: THE SUGAR FILM started as one man’s journey to discover the bitter truth about sugar. Australian actor/director, Damon Gameau embarked on a unique experiment to document the effects of a high sugar diet on a healthy body, consuming only foods that are commonly perceived, or promoted to be, healthy. He eats at least 40 spoons of sugar in a day for 60 days.

Friend, do you really want to take better care of your temple? If so, may God Bless you and may you be inspired to pursue a goal with your health concerns. I hope what I share in the coming weeks will be led by the Holy Spirit, especially for those that struggle with bad eating habits, so that you will pick up the torch and run with a desire to find what works for you while getting on the right track for the sake of your health and your family.

At some point we have all experienced a special moment when we began a new chapter in our life. But this month has started out with what I would refer to as a new book for mine. Let me share.

When you hear the word diet, what are some of the first words that come to your mind or rather, your mouth?

Sit for a moment and really consider just that.

Maybe, you thought of such words as: Money scheme, Jenny Craig, Atkins, Keto, Paleo, Lactose-free, or even words like – cutting back and exercise. And I would guess that most answers would consist of a desire to lose weight and the second thought might be based on health issues. But eventually a statement would reveal ones’ lack of will power somewhere in the conversation. I would go as far as to say you probably even made a mental note of something you refuse to give up. Perhaps it’s a weakness.

When it comes down to it, the diet we plan to begin on a Monday usually isn’t a priority on our to-do list. And if it is, there’s been more than one Monday to begin. Which is why I decided to go forward with changing my lack of self-control on a Friday.

There was this one item in a lot of my food choices, but I never realized it was basically in EVERYTHING on the shelves of our pantry!

I was skeptical to share this considering that most people don’t want to hear from someone who has only changed their eating habits for fourteen days. And I understand if that’s how you feel, but if I didn’t share this I would be disregarding what could be a huge blessing that could transpire with healing in the lives of people who suffer with pain. An when it comes to constant pain, the sooner it ends the better.  

I’ve suffered with chronic inflammation, arthritis, knee pain, plantar fasciitis, and lower back pain for a long time now. I’ve been borderline diabetic for many years and avoided having a primary care doctor ever since I decided to take myself off Metformin. I’m most certain I would have been on insulin by now if I had not purposely slid by with eating better close to time for a yearly physical at the gynecologist. Which usually results into hearing, “Mrs. Van Kleef you need to see your primary care doctor about this issue because I believe you have a problem.” Oh, and I failed to mention the only alternative left for my feet, knees or neck issues were all diagnosed with, “You need surgery.” After hearing the words breast cancer on two different occasions, another surgery is the last thing you want to entertain as an alternative. At least until you have reached your limit with pain. So, I have just lived with it.

In this note, I won’t tell you exactly what started this diet (I’ll save that for later); but let me tell you what has happened because of it. On the third day when I woke up and my feet hit the floor – I was in disbelief that I may be experiencing a miracle. I said to myself – If I didn’t know any better, my feet barely hurt! And then by midday I also took notice to how much energy I seemed to have. I didn’t want to get overly excited in case it didn’t last because it was still rising up in my mind with how I felt at the end of each day, even on a good note. Some nights, I would cry with the pain, especially in my feet if I had gone in any grocery store. Not to mention my knees and elsewhere.

Let’s just say if I based my age on how I’ve felt the last six years (and especially the two years), it would add twenty more years to fifty-six. All the other aches were less painful than my feet if I were using the chart at a hospital, and on a scale of 1-10, I would say I daily averaged an 8. Until now. Each day the number steadily decreased. Within the first week of the diet, I can claim I was a “3” on the chart. Let me rephrase that; On day three I was on the low end of the chart with a three as far as pain.

Fifteen days have passed since I started, and I’m a ONE (on the scale) concerning my feet. And as far as the other aches and pains, there is absolutely NONE.

Yesterday was the first time I rode a lawn mower in over six years. Due to the pain with riding, it made no sense for me to mow if I would only end up at the chiropractor two times a week for two months. After I finished talking with Jesus on the lawnmower, I went on to mine and His conversation while gardening and doing other chores that consisted of pulling, bending, squatting, and going up and down steps of which I normally would avoid by taking the wheelchair ramp. At one point my husband even suggested I should call it quits before I over did it and had regrets. But I just went onward with a huge smile and praising the Lord at the same time.

I just knew this is a miracle, and I wanted to bask in the occasion of feeling normal again. After completing everything I wanted to do on the outside, I got showered and then stood on my bare feet for over an hour cooking an amazing meal and then enjoyed washing the dishes by hand and not loading them in the dishwasher as usual (a miracle). You would also have to understand that I had to constantly wear certain shoes from the time I got out of bed until I got in bed, but that has not been the case for a few hours out of the day. Around 9 pm last night, I was also vacuuming and mopping (another miracle). I can’t tell you the last time I was purposely doing that chore at night. I just could and I was excited.

My energy has been like an athlete that just knows they’re going to win the race. There’s so much I want to share, but I will spare you with all the details just yet, and end with what I eliminated from my diet on day #1. (With the exception of one spoon a day)

I must say that I truly believe I’ve found the culprit to what was my downfall to a life of endless pain – Sugar!

P.S. There’s so much more to share but I will save that for another day.  

I wrote this on Sunday 8/1/21 at 7 am. (The message I heard Pastor Zack Corbett preach just a few hours later, had me in a moment. One of those special times when you wonder if someone was eavesdropping on your conversation. But then you are reminded that God knows our thoughts, intents, and the words we speak. So, his message was anointed by God for me. My husband can attest to this.)

I must confess that I have been lying about something for several years. It’s not anything that I’m proud of admitting but I’m certain many can relate to this LIE, especially women. I’ve learned that accountability has proven to be effective over the years, but there’s this one thing that I don’t handle so well when it comes to being accountable.

The enemy has lost the battle with most of my worldly enticements, and when I say most, I humbly say that I’m very much aware there’s always different tactics he uses in ways that seem innocent enough or when I feel I have good reasons to justify certain actions, and I fail. These things still test me and try to get a rise out of my sinful nature if I don’t keep them in check.

But to come clean, I’ve told a lie on my driver’s license for several years, and it wasn’t just about my height. I never changed my weight. Well, I did, but not in that manner. It just so happens that it’s forty-two pounds more than what is typed in that little square. This laminated card is one of the few things that give me a reminder of what once was – and gives me a (false) sense of hope – that it still could be.  At least it did the last time they were renewed. Although the scales haven’t been telling lies, I keep telling them to myself. And what pops up in numerical bright red on the other little square on the glass piece I stand on, certainly isn’t going to change without any efforts, or because it’s printed on an I.D.

Some will giggle about this kind of stuff, but if we face the truth, it’s not a laughing matter for any of us. In fact, for me, it’s not much different than all those cigarettes I smoked, drinks of alcohol, or drugs that I used. Gluttony is not “just gluttony”; it’s a sin, and it can also be considered idolatry. Say whatttttt? Yes, that’s biblical! The truth is that it can be a source of comfort in the wrong thing. And since I gave up all those other alternatives years ago, food usually does the trick in their place. Over the years, I can remember one of my favorite statements, “Well eating too much is better than when I ……..” Maybe you can fill in your own blank.

My favorite meat is steak. Although it’s been a while, I’ll tell you right now that I can finish a 22-ounce porterhouse and sit in waiting while hoping – that Lee doesn’t finish his; So that I can. Desserts have always been my biggest weakness, especially if it’s something I presently crave and then immediately make it. If someone stayed with me for a week that properly dieted, they would see my eating habit as an addiction, because some days I just don’t know when to stop. In fact, there has been times that I have been downright mean when I have a craving that I can’t fulfill. Chocolate.  

Was it not a bite of something – that landed us in this mess to begin with? Eating the forbidden caused Adam and Eve to be tossed out of Eden, so we should all know the results of what temptations can do. And wouldn’t you know that it would be a woman that fell for taking the first taste of deception. Do you ever wonder why the other fruit of the trees and the Tree of Life wasn’t enough? Eve reminds me of my issues with self-control, not to mention how hard it can be to resist those things that appear as good. And I’m not just referring to food.

I’m not saying that sugar is evil, but the results of it is an eye-opener when you hear that word combined with diabetes. Withdrawals from a lack of this substance will certainly prove what has mastered you.

If you don’t believe food can be controlling, then I dare you to attempt a Daniel fast for 21-days. Although it gets easier when you go for a while with avoiding greasy, starchy, and heavy foods. Oh, and sweets! It’s near the end that you may begin to wonder why you ever ate those foods to start with. But when day #22 rolls around, what happens is that you usually convince yourself that you will only splurge a little here and there. And then…… it’s so easy to fall back into those familiar habits. If you don’t get tricked that way, trust me, the devil will inspire someone to make your favorite dish and then they will go as far as to deliver it to you and think they are doing you a favor.

I also remember that lie I’ve told myself after a long fast, “This time, won’t be like before.”

Choices.

I ditched social media to clear my mind and after achieving that goal, I was once again made aware of this one sin that has me so entangled that I can feel it physically and right down to my bones: AKA inflammation. And it doesn’t help when your husband is watching all the seasons of the Great British Baking Show (and late at night on top of that). When I watch, I’m extremely overcome with cravings.

What prodded me to share this is from waking up in the middle of the night while remembering something in my study on spiritual warfare. And then it made perfect sense with why I felt led to ask a few people the day before if they had a primary care doctor and who they used. I believe God was going somewhere with that question, because it led me to reflect on why I quit using the physician I had seven years ago. It was basically because I didn’t want to do as he suggested; change my eating habits. Seemed much easier to just change doctors!

Eating wrong foods (processed) or being extreme with the amount will cost any of us in the long run. And eating healthy is not something that comes easy or naturally, especially with us living in what has become a fast food or open the can and cook it quick – with life in the USA.

Over the years, we’ve all heard or read the phrase “Eat drink and be merry”, but I’m sure at some point we have also mentally or physically taken that verse out of context, because the truth is that it doesn’t say “Eat until you are miserable and lazy, and drink until you can’t see or walk straight”. I won’t even share the verse about getting drunk, because that’s a given, but anyone that has diabetes can attest to the fact that splurging on sugary drinks (and food) will affect your sight too. (It can all creates damage.) I believe that in that verse, Solomon was meaning the same thing referenced in the New Testament, like when Paul said, “If we have food and clothing, we shall be content.”

Let me go a little further, with my thoughts. Do you recall in Luke chapter 12 and the parable of the rich man? In a sense, you could say it tells how foolish it is to overindulge. Now this may be interpreted from a different perspective on different occasions but wanting more and more of anything can be quite dangerous. Jesus even said this guy was a fool to think he could just sit around and eat, drink and be merry while laying up treasures for himself. Maybe it wasn’t just about the treasures? Sometimes our poor choices may look similar to this man that Jesus used as an example.

“And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” Do you think it’s possible that we look at scriptures like this, and we twist it into believing for our wants and not what’s necessary?

Do we allow Satan to deceive us as he did Adam and Eve, by convincing us that God said something that He didn’t, or He didn’t say something that He did? That verse above from Philippians 4:19, may convince us that we asked, then God gave, and all the while – we were possibly just purchasing what we thought we deserved (expensive vehicles, homes that are too big, play toys that we can’t afford, etc.) or we helped ourselves with all we could eat because we wanted to get what we paid for (a buffet is a perfect example). In the end, that’s so ironic in the scheme of things? Get what we paid for.

Which brings me to ask: What’s more important: Having more or being reasonable? Being overfilled or being content? When it comes to eating and drinking, do we make it about what is enough or is it usually about what we crave?  

I wonder how many times I am more interested in what looks SA-GUD, instead of being filled with what is really so-good.  

I’m most certain that Esau would have not traded his birthright for a mess (meal) of pottage (stew) had he realized what was most valuable. Sometimes we prioritize what we want in the moment over what we need.

Here’s a crazy thought: Consider the processed foods that didn’t exist in biblical days, and it might help if we were to daily ask ourselves: Do we truly believe that big-to-do company owners have our best interest at heart (no pun intended about the heart), or is it all about the deposit into their business and personal checking account? Kind of like that rich man Jesus was talking about. You think?

Why are we so guilty of being fooled in the name of convenience? Do we really believe that these phrases such as: Lightly Sweet, No Sugar Added, Personal Pizza, Veggie Straws, Sweetly Seductive, Slim Fast, Think Thin, Smart Start with Kellogg’s Cereal, Cage-free, Wholegrain, and Made with Real Fruit, are not just part of the manufacturer’s enticement to get us to take a bite? And they are adding sugar to their products and sometimes it’s used with names we don’t recognize. Why do we fall for these lies?  

~Question: Are you convinced that overindulging is not gluttony? Or is eating the food we crave something that’s more prioritized than our fellowship with the one who supplies it?

~Prayer: Father, forgive us when we hunger and thirst for the things that affect our health in an adverse way. Lord, convict our hearts when we are more interested in filling our stomachs than our spirit. Help us that we may learn to practice daily with finding our comfort in you and not those things that are temporary. Teach us what pleases you when we eat and drink that we may be satisfied with the right foods and the reasonable amounts and not fall prey to our weaknesses and fulfill what we desire. In the mighty name of Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior, amen.

~The Bible reminds us in concerning the fruits of the spirit, and one of them is self-control (Galatians 5:22). And food is pertaining to just one of those matters. God calls us to control our appetites, rather than to allow it to control us.

(For more info on gluttony, look up: Deuteronomy 21:20, Proverbs 23:2, & 2 Peter 1:5-7, 2 Timothy 3:1-9, & 2 Corinthians 10:5)

In Luke chapter 18 Jesus is speaking about a widow that is persistent in getting justice. As He finishes up this parable, He also asked a profound question: “When the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on earth?” We could easily answer “yes”, but personally I fear spouting my reply too quickly, especially considering the number of times my tests have proved my doubts. Not about who God is or even who Jesus is for that matter, but more like – if my faith is – as it should be. Although God is still known for blessing people despite their times of doubt, I still believe we must take this question to heart concerning each avenue.

In this very chapter we should read further on and examine the Parable of the Pharisee that exemplified self-righteousness based on how he prayed in reference to the tax collector. Thereafter, we learn there was the brief mention about whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a child, will not enter it. Then it goes on to tell the story of the rich young ruler that lacked the ability to sell everything, give the proceeds to the poor, and then follow Jesus. This is all said after His question (as stated above) and He also doesn’t forget the mention of His prophetic arrival. With these things in mind, perhaps we should evaluate this chapter and give this more examination.

Consider the Old Testament and think about Abraham. Have you ever wondered if your faith is like his? Or what makes us any different than the Israelite people at times when they lacked faith as Moses tried to lead them? What sets me apart? What sets you apart?

Going back to our main verse, I also don’t believe it’s a coincidence that Jesus discusses all of this in its order without a purpose, as He had just shared with them about the coming of the day when the Son of Man is revealed.

Think about this woman that Jesus is using as an illustration (Luke 18:1-8), and the fact that she did not give up on her request. I can honestly say that once my determination kicks in gear with absolute faith as I cry out to the Lord, and I’m determined to hear from heaven, I can vouch for the fact that the answer may not come in my timing or even in the package I asked for, but glory be to God alone, it does come sooner or later! And when it does, I am faced with the reality that God was looking for my persistence that I refuse to lose heart when I pray.  

Discouragement can rush in like an unexpected windstorm or it may come in a way that seems like we are drowning in the valley of despair, so let’s reflect on God’s word concerning another widow. In 1 Kings chapter 17, this woman was prepared to give up, but God sent Elijah to her home and when she carried out what the man of God commanded, everything changed. The Lord not only supplied her need for survival, but later when her son became sick (and mind you that she still lacked faith as you will see when you read it), God used Elijah (whom also questioned Him) so He could revive her son. This story gives me hope and it should for you, that when we are down in spirit and our faith is weak, God is still with us.

Take a moment and recall some of the past instances when the Lord sent help as you were about to lose heart too. Allow those precious memories to renew your spirit and your faith in God alone.

~Question: Are you downhearted? If not, then when was the last time that you reached out to someone and represented a type of Elijah to encourage someone in their faith? What sets you apart? Do you exercise your faith like the persistent widow that Jesus used as an example in Luke chapter 18?

~Prayer: Father, if I should ever lack in my faith, please send an Elijah to reassure me of its importance and remind me of Jesus’ words “When the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?” And increase my faith dear Lord, as I pray and learn to completely trust you. In Jesus mighty name.

~The Bible says in Luke 18:1 “Then Jesus spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart…..”  *

When was the last time that you assigned yourself a personal challenge? I mulled over something until I decided to rely on a resource that helps me examine where I’m at and where I want to be. I made a list. Have you ever accomplished list-making and then upon reviewing your evaluation, you find that it’s a no-brainer? Yet you’re guilty of still making excuses or justify your reasoning, and all the while knowing the admission doesn’t change the results; however, it’s a good place to start.  

After the conclusion of having twenty-three reasons to deactivate a social media website and three reasons that presented benefits with keeping it handy, it only made sense for me to ditch what seemed to spike my anxiety; at least long enough to see how these pros and cons play out the other way.

When it came to being committed with following through, the truth of the matter was at hand. If I couldn’t do it for a week, how could I even consider making this decision a permanent one. A few days before this momentous event, the thought occurred – What if I couldn’t get back into my account and I lost all my pictures and archives from over the years, and what if my journal of activities vanished. With this kind of fear rising, I had no doubt there was something to this proclamation. One that would hold more truth about where a lot of my reactions and emotions were coming from, especially the past year.

I was surprised by the immediate relief after my choice to click the small block that said deactivate, but not without also noticing what a grip it had on me. I was now slapped with the reality that I was addicted to this app and had allowed it to be the culprit of affecting my mood as well as behavior, fears, and responses. I knew I could go days without looking at it, and even limit my time scrolling, so to think of this as an addiction had totally caught me off guard.

It’s been many years since alcohol and cigarettes had a grasp on me, and well over twenty years since my drug addiction was relinquished. But honestly, I would have never associated this social media as being addictive (for me), considering the small amount of time that I had dwindled down to using it, much less would I have ever admitted the stronghold it had on me, had I not experienced this first-hand.

Can you imagine being the one that disables a bomb? I wouldn’t want that job, nor would I want to witness the deed of the individual that handles such a major risk, and thankfully they have robots that handles such a situation these days, but I can see how this could play out like a ticking time bomb for some people concerning their health (and their spiritual walk as well). I feel so foolish to know that I allowed myself to have an explosion of tormented thoughts. The hours of reasoning I can’t get back. The feelings of rejection that led me to detonate the same in return.

Have you ever been in a crowded room and still felt alone? Someone’s answer to that question could very well be an open door for inviting depression and an admission to a lack of proper attire to fight against the enemies of darkness. In other words, you may have hundreds or even thousands of “friends”, but if you are foolish enough to believe that as a fact or that it’s even remotely true – then think again. The pity party may never end if you assume that friendliness is more than just that.

The following days would also prove my theory correct about this time-sucking media, because I noticed most instances when someone crossed my mind, that I would still pick up my phone to rely on this app for insight, while quickly forgetting it had been removed. However, I did recall in doing that, how I would get on for a certain reason and instead found myself scrolling only to forget the original reason I even went looking from the start. Also, when I was working on my studies, I couldn’t believe that I was still reaching for the object that held my weakness and unknowingly how bad it had become such a natural distraction. The notification sound was obviously more powerful than I would imagine, because on day ten it was still playing in my head throughout each day, as well as the ingrained habit to swipe it open and see the new post made by someone I followed.  

I daresay that I found out in just a short time that separating myself proved how other people’s opinions, negativity, too much information and a lack of depth can affect your mind; and that’s just to politely name a few. Not to mention how my own post made me feel sometimes. As it led to insecurities, the nervousness I always have with risking improper grammar, punctuation, or second guessing my thoughts, and forgetting someone else’s perspective and how I might make them feel. On the meaningful side, I must say that it showed me just how sacred true friendship is and to remember that if you have this gift, then cherish and hold it tight, because it’s rare!

I’ll end with sharing the greatest understanding of all that I’ve concluded: “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

I would also like to present you with a question to ponder if you have read thus far: Is there something that you have been unwilling to surrender that triggers pain, hurts, regrets, or fights for your attention?  Do you take the initiative to react when you realize there’s distraction(s) calling you away from goals, levels, success, relationships, marriage, family or altogether – what matters most?  (Selah)

Most Southern Gospel fans will know the song I’m referring to in the last part of the chorus by Gerald Crabb, “I try to look strong as the whole world looks on, but sometimes alone I cry.” I’m not one to necessarily hide the fact that I cry, but around Mother I do my best to cover it up, in the hope that she wouldn’t think it’s because of her. But I will admit that I don’t know how many times I’ve played the part of having my faith by the tail and lied to myself and others about how good I was really doing. (The lyrics in that song says it all.)

For example: I’ve managed in times past to keep it together while waiting for my groceries to be bagged, because if I had answered with the truth in reference to the repetitive greeting for everyone, well, let’s just say the manager would have needed to open another check out because my honesty would have involved a huge melt-down when I was asked, “How are you doing today.”

But I’ve also been known to walk into a sanctuary and hear the very message that described or convicted me, along with an altar call, and if I had only obeyed the stirring that was going on from within, I could have easily been set free. Yet, I quenched the Holy Spirit even more by rising from the pew; speaking, smiling, and leaving the same way I entered the building!

Why do we do that? Why do we go through the motions and convince ourselves if we just keep going forward it means everything will eventually work out? (In some ways, isn’t that the same thing an addict does?) Why are we reluctant to acknowledge that it’s impossible to do this in our own strength? Why do we walk in defeat instead of going to our prayer closet relentlessly or taking our time at an altar of prayer? Is it like that song goes, “Because the whole world looks on……”?  That just makes it easier to fake-it, now doesn’t’ it? Is it that we are afraid we will hold someone up from going to eat their meal if we stay too long? All the while the bread of life and living water awaits our hungry and thirsty soul. If we are in a church setting, are we more concerned about what others would think if we made a beeline down the aisle? Or could it just be an excuse to avoid our conviction, whether in public or in private?

Confessing and sharing my faults with others is the easy part, but surrendering all my will and plans to God, now that’s where it can get a little sticky if you ask me. What do you think? (Use caution with your thoughts or actions, because the Bible says that when you help to restore the transgressor, to keep watch, lest you too be tempted.)  

The absolute truth is that a prayer of admitting that we desperately need Him isn’t always enough. Undoubtedly, it’s when we choose to get up and walk in the Spirit of Christ, that afterwards we can profoundly move ahead. (And to that I cry out – O God help us!)

~Question: Do you cry alone? Do you lose sleep? Do you struggle to get it right, whether it’s in your faith or even in how you treat or feel about others? Do you need to surrender again?

~Prayer: Precious Lord, in the mighty name of Jesus, let it be as David prayed, that you would create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your Holy Spirit from me. Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way of everlasting.

~The Bible says in Psalm 51: 17 “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart – These O God, You will not despise.”

&

~Galatians 5:16-17 “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh, and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things you wish.”

Do you know someone that shines like Jesus in a way that you long to obtain? Yet on most days you are keenly aware that you reflect the frustrations that you’ve allowed to overtake your mind.

Let me share my ugly:    

I took Mother the newspaper and asked that when she finished reading it, if she would leave it laying in her lap because I had plans for it. She agreed. I returned later to find no paper in sight. As I began searching her cubbyholes, and the sides of her lift chair, she explained that she put it away and admitted that she totally forgot what I had said. I looked and looked, and then, I can’t believe I said it, “How could someone sit in one place and lose a newspaper?” (Says the one that can lose the remote control and cellphone while just sitting on the couch.)

She assured me that she would find it if I would just give her a few minutes. I wish I would have immediately obeyed her suggestion, but instead I felt the strong need to continue my conversation by adding, “I only gave you the one thing to do, and you couldn’t remember?” Right when I finished babbling, the Holy Spirit pricked my heart and asked me the very same question.

I went to my office to sit down and have a good cry. I was so ashamed, especially knowing that remembering is the very thing that she wishes she could get right. She has dementia, but what was my excuse? God has given me the opportunity to do this one thing for Mother and when I allow my flesh to rise, my attitude can get the best of me; well Mom might say the worst! Care-giving can be trying at times, but I’m sure most people being cared for would have a few things to say about the caretaker.

As I began playing out the different scenarios of how this should have been handled, I turned in the swivel chair towards my desk and there lay the thought-provoking question that I had been preparing to share with others. Let me tell you that any conviction and chastisement I received, was well deserved! “If the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned?” But that wasn’t the only part that hit me in the gut: “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”

This incident totally changed everything I had planned to say on my blog, especially with the reality that there will always be inescapable times of testing. A few good days in a row with patience, doesn’t mean that you have finally mastered it. When your light is shining at its brightest, you must be on guard for the enemy that is waiting to darken your shine. Still, I knew I must humble myself and apologize. I wish I had considered how Jesus would have wanted me to handle this situation from the start.

I encourage anyone that gets emotionally overwhelmed, to take a minute (or longer) before you speak or react, and ask yourself: “What would Jesus do?” I’m sure your first thought right now might be – that is so basic! Yet, how often do we purposely use this simple solution when dealing with others. I’m finding that I need to use it daily, or I should say – every few minutes.

After my apology, the Holy Spirit brought back something to my memory. Just the day before, Mother had said, “Do you know how beautiful you are to me?” A great reminder on the importance of reflecting what Jesus would do and being persistent in what Carole should. Because the truth is – beauty was the last thing I had exhibited about two hours after her sweet and kind words.

~Question: Have you recently found yourself experiencing regret in how you handled something? As silly as this may sound, I must ask: Are you salty?

~Prayer: Father, so that you will be glorified, help me that I might remember to treat others as Jesus would, and in this way, I will look beautiful from the inside out, and my light will shine.

~The Bible says in Matthew 5:13 “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.”

At a local Waffle House, I began a waitress job on weekends in 2001. It didn’t last long enough to get my name tag pinned on a uniform before I knew this job was not for me. I wanted health insurance, but not that bad! I couldn’t find it within myself to stand on the marked spot and yell loud enough for someone in the restroom to also hear. That just set my mood on edge, especially when I didn’t get the point of yelling the customer’s order to begin with. But that was the practice for years, and I knew the rules wouldn’t bend on my behalf. Back then I could yell at my kids that loud, or even a bad driver, but I just couldn’t pull myself to do this! 

If you have a family member that can’t hear very well then maybe you can relate when I tell you about my mother. It’s worse than why I quit working at that restaurant in only two days’ time. Except as long as I am able, I can’t stop trying to do my best on her behalf, even if it means being extremely loud. This woman can be closer than the cook that only stood six foot away, and it can still become overly complicated. Just ask my brothers. And if my husband is in the next room and I’m yelling, then he thinks I’m talking to him and there goes that long drawn-out madness of explaining what in the world is going on and ends with both getting confused.

If you ever saw the movie called Freaky Friday, then you understand what I mean by using the words joy-sucker. I can’t tell her anything funny without this condition sucking my joy once I’ve had to repeat it a third time, so I usually give up. Not to mention the fact that dementia and Alzheimer are worse than a lack of hearing! I can’t imagine how she must feel. (I mean no disrespect for anyone that suffers deafness.)

When I recently took her to have an ultrasound on her thyroid, I knew she wasn’t completely hard of hearing. The technician entered and although the noise of the air conditioning and the equipment was running loudly in the background, this lady spoke in the quietest voice, and begin asking Mother questions, and mind you that she answered them all – correctly and without needing them to be repeated. I thought maybe a miracle had occurred between the waiting area and the room I was standing in, but I knew that wasn’t the case, because before this technician walked in, I still had to repeat everything. I wish a hearing aid were the answer but been there and done that.

They say that it’s likely that you can drown out voices much easier as you grow old; that’s called selective hearing. However, if I’m most honest, sometimes I believe this is how I may be guilty of listening to God, or should I say not? So why does this frustrate me with Mother, especially after I halfway listened to her back in my younger years. Isn’t it awfully funny when things tend to bother us that we are also known for doing?

~Question: Are you sometimes guilty of having selective hearing – even when it comes to the things of God?

The Bible says in Hebrews 3:15 “Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in rebellion.”

I remember wanting to get in my car and drive, to that place I always called I don’t know where. Overwhelmed by circumstances of not knowing where that place was at, what to do or how to make a plan that was right. Stuck, broke, bound to responsibilities that held me where I was supposed to be, but nevertheless, daydreaming of the great escape. Envious of the ones who appeared to have it made or at least the ones that looked like they were closer to having it more than me.

Still, in the back of my mind, knowing that if I reached the destination of, I don’t know where, it would be a nice place that was much prettier than my attitude. Either by the ocean or in the middle of the woods, where I could scream, cry the ugly cry, or shout out praises to God after I was finished. I recall that empty feeling that provokes you to speak the same words out loud repeatedly; “I don’t know, I just don’t know!” I didn’t know what I didn’t know, I just knew I didn’t.

I also understand the whispers of your teenage years that can creep up again later in life, with the lie that says, “It’s always going to be this way.” And right after you shake that thought off, another one replaces it, and then you must remember to just breathe.

Telling yourself if you had known then what you know now, but you realize it still doesn’t change anything in the now. The regrets, the should of, wish you would of. These words combined with the others are all a sign of that word you hate, depression. But when you admit that it has come to that, you automatically know you must make the choice to accept or reject its calling, because you’ve witnessed those setbacks in your life and felt its sting. Still, the last thing you want to hear is for someone to tell you to “Snap out of it, or you are not alone”, because you are in it – alone. Or at least you feel as though the only one sitting with you is the demon of selfishness that wants to take all your self-worth.

If you’ve never been in this place, consider yourself blessed that you don’t understand. But if you are fighting this turmoil, or maybe your mind is playing a reel that displays all the worst-case scenarios in your given situation, I have attached an old song that really helped me pull through when I was experiencing a down-time. (If you have the SMART YouTube app. you can listen without commercials.)

I hope this helps change your mindset today and that it brings you comfort during the pain. May God hear your cry and plea for sanity and help you escape this desperate place as you meet Him there. https://www.youtube.com/embed/Of25jDDIw_w?version=3&rel=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&fs=1&hl=en&autohide=2&start=631&wmode=transparent&listType=playlist&list=PLYxhpqUnRrEGwAkl8W82V0TubvJqkpEFs

Most of us know the popular stories about Dick and Jane written in the 1930’s. The characters made reading so much fun. One thing I remember the most is, “See Spot run! Run, Spot, run!”. And at some point, I believe that Spot ran away. I recall reading many stories from the Bible about different people running, and I’m not just talking about Jonah.

In first Samuel we see that David ran to the battle line to meet Goliath (1Samuel 17:48), but then we also know that later, he ran away from King Saul (1 Samuel 18:5). Elijah ran from Ahab and Jezebel (1Kings 19:1-4). On another note, Joseph didn’t run, but he was sold away (Genesis 37:27). Nevertheless, he was removed from his home and what was familiar. If we rewind to Genesis chapter 12 – we read that Abraham was told “Get out of your country.”

The Bible enlightens us with so many that were on the move in the New and Old Testament, whether willingly or unwilling. And the list is too long to name! But I dare say that when someone was either forced, told to leave, ran-away, or asked to follow, God truly did some mighty works and miracles thereafter.

At some point, many that serve the Lord will usually face this dilemma or command. It may be a physical move, a mental decision, or a God given push or leading. For some it could just be to keep moving forward in the place you were called. In any case, let us be encouraged in what Paul told to the Philippian believers.

~Question: “Do you recall a time when you were impressed to obey what the Holy Spirit was telling you to do or where He was telling you to go, even when you didn’t have all the answers?”

The Bible says in Philippians 3:13-14 “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; But one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

I’ve witnessed others tolerate all that goes into being a skillful hunter and mastering what it takes for the big score. But after two seasons in a deer stand, and no action, I decided to leave that up to the ones who love the sport.

Whether it’s a deer being cleaned by a hunter or a cow being processed by a factory, there’s stages that must take place. There’s the slaughtering or shooting, hanging by the hind-feet, draining, bleeding, cutting, skinning, dividing, placed in ice or a cooler, and then the aging. Later the pieces are separated even more while being cut on again, and later soaked, salted, smoked, seasoned, and on and on. More than likely I have the order wrong or possibly left some steps out, but you get the point; There’s a process.

And just like there’s different stages with the meat, the same holds true for other foods, diamonds, cotton, paper products, and that’s just to name a few. There’s nothing magical that can happen to prepare these things and make them perfect in an instant.

It’s the same with us. To achieve our perfection, there’s a unique and order set-in place and it’s individually based, while designed with some specifics, unlike the constant repetition and order of a processing plant. There are some things that we may bring upon ourselves, but there’s also certain happenings that will take place to develop our growth and keep us steered towards the right path.

~Question: “When you truly remember that your test and trials is just a process for – your eternal good, does the light afflictions somehow bring a sense of joy when you really stop and think about it like that? If so, then patiently – think about it.”

The Bible says in James 1:2-5 “My brethren, counted all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect worked, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing.”

While being in the cleaning business for over twenty years, I can honestly say that the worst part of my job was nothing to do with cleaning the houses or offices, but it was at the end of the day when it was time to refill the bottles with liquid cleaners and straighten up my vehicle. It was a proven fact that my next morning would go much smoother if I would have gone ahead and updated all my cleaning supplies when arriving home and finishing what I so dreaded.

Do you have a task that shouldn’t be such a big deal for you, but for whatever reason you can completely relate? When it came to the new construction sites or move-outs, I loathed everything about doing these jobs, except for picking up the check. I was determined to get the worst part finished first, as that helped me to mentally wrap my mind around everything else that needed to be accomplished.

Waiting until the next morning or putting off the worst part of the job, always proved to bring me regret. I think Ben Franklin said it best, “Don’t put off until tomorrow, what you can do today”. I wonder what ole’ Ben had put off that aided him in arriving at that conclusion?

I said all of that to say this, “It’s a blessing to wake up and see a new day without things that were left undone.”

Although I no longer work outside our home, I know that statement still holds much truth to other matters that anyone procrastinates in accomplishing, especially those things that we know we ought to do, such as: making that dreaded phone call, scheduling appointments that are long overdue, apologizing when necessary, or giving an awaited – yes or no answer. And for those that struggle with strongholds, it may be surrendering again and again.

~Question: “What have you been putting off? Could it be something in which ‘that particular’ tomorrow has yet to come?”

The Bible says in James 4:14 “Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes is away.“

There’s something about a beautiful spring day that can inspire one to work outdoors.  And if the task is accomplished too soon, the yucky pollen can quickly ruin all efforts. After several days with working on the outside, it was time to play catch-up on the inside. When letting certain chores go, you probably know what I mean when I ask, “Where do I start?”

Times like this are not ironic, but they can have God written all over it. On that very morning, the devotion I was reading, just happened to be titled, “Finding God in the Clutter”. And yes, He is there, but at the same time, how often do we really acknowledge that, especially when our mind is more focused on – what we can see.

Can your mood be based on the tidiness of your surroundings? If there’s areas that are cluttered, I find that I can quickly develop an attitude, and there’s no justified reason for that, especially when I know the truth is – that He is ever present.

My reading was a much-needed reminder that I must start with God, or I’ll find myself more concerned about the clutter, than I am to recognize His presence.

For the most part, I think we forget that God is only interested in the investment He has in His people, and not in the belongings that they have invested. We get so distracted with what’s in our sight, that we can easily lose focus on what should be our insight.

~Question: “Have you acknowledged the fact that He is with you today? At what point throughout the day do you tend to forget? Is it when you are trying to clean up the clutter on the outside?”

The Bible says in Psalm 139:7 “Where shall I go from Your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from Your presence?”

~Luke 10:40-42 “But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore, tell her to help me. And Jesus said, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen the good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

When my husband installed the carpet in our bedroom, it had to be joined together because the room was longer than the bolt of carpet. Eventually, that spot where the pieces were seamed together began to separate, so I must be on guard or the brush on the vacuum cleaner will snag the fiber. Unfortunately, when panicking, I always forget where to press the switch because of my history with using so many different styles of vacuums. The bad part is that if I don’t react quickly, I will lose an entire row of fabric.

While sitting by my bedside, and reflecting over the prior year, I began to take notice of how bare the spot on the floor had grown. Suddenly, I realized that 2020 wasn’t all-about what was messed up, or what I missed out on. But every disappointment had taught me something far more valuable than anything I could have ever planned to attend or accomplish by way of my own. Such as, when I allow my mind to second guess or doubt God, it’s like my brain gets into a tangled mess, just like that fabric when it unravels onto the roller of our vacuum. And sometimes I forget how to flip that switch off when it begins.

Have you ever allowed the same thoughts rule your day? You know, the very ones that you were determined to be done with, and then once again, you’re disappointed in yourself for falling into that trap. Maybe you can relate to moments when everything is going fine, and then you see or hear something that sets you off? And by letting your guard down, your anxiety or frustration begins to grow bigger and bigger, like the spot on the floor.

Saying we trust God is one thing and living like it – is completely another. We can purpose to set our mind on heavenly things (Colossians 3:2), or we can allow it to be set back by another (James 1:6-7).

Sometimes, I must return to the motto that God gave me several years ago, “It’s not what you know, it’s what you do with what you know ~ that’s what really matters!”

~Question: “What do you do with what you know?”

The Bible says in James 1:22 “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”

Texting these days is more common than talking, at least for me. I could go into several reasons for this, but if you’re also one that text, then you have some of your own. Unfortunately, sometimes there’s no response, and that can deeply bother me.

Although I’m not looking for a thank you, because that would be silly, but when I send a card or letter a few times in a row, a simple response, in some way, would be nice. After making certain efforts to reach out, I am prone to wonder if it’s not being received or if I was misunderstood.

Being overlooked is understandable, or even forgotten, but if someone just doesn’t want to be bothered with me, I must admit, I take it personal. It hurts!

One day, after drowning in self-pity, the Holy Spirit brought a good thought to mind:

~Question: “How personal God must take it when He is being ignored, whether through a message, a Word, or tries to call out, and then He receives no response?”

That’s something to think about.

The Bible says in John 12: 48 “He who rejects Me and does not receive My sayings, has one who judges him; the word I spoke is what will judge him at the last day.“

Rain was headed our way, so my husband and I removed the tarps from our vegetable garden that was temporarily placed out for the freezing nights. As I began heading back inside the house, I noticed that I had forgot to remove a thick blanket that was protecting some of the broccoli and other young greens.

This was a big deal, because if I would have left it during a heavy downpour, the weight of the wet blanket would break the leaves and possibly the entire tender plants.

God began to use this as an illustration on how I do that same thing at times, by placing such a big expectation (a thick blanket) on those that are young in the faith. And now that I look back, I am sure that the weight (of the wet blanket) may have stunted someone’s growth because of expecting more (a full-size plant) than they were ready (or pressured) to hold up under (much like the tender plants).

I am reminded that good intentions can cause great harm.

The Holy Spirit spoke this to me: “Don’t expect more from others than God expected out of you, because no matter how much you think you know or ways you try to practice in doing right, there’s still a lot more growing that you have left to do. God will take care of how much burden you can handle, and He also knows how to take care of others that are growing!” Great advice from the Holy Spirit.

~Question: “Is there someone that you might be guilty of expecting too much out of, without even realizing?”

The Bible says in Matthew 23:4 “For they bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.“

Are there phrases that you despise?

When my daughters were growing up, they hated when I would say, “Get over it!” But have you ever concluded that’s all some people may understand? My kids knew those words meant – that was the end of the discussion. And they also knew that there was nothing that could be said or done that would change my mind. It was the only way I could nip-it, so to speak.

As an adult, I do recall hearing that same phrase as it was directed towards me, whether blatantly or indirectly. I have felt it’s cold and harsh sting. But because I used those words or thought them myself, it was easier for me to understand that there were some things that I just needed to accept.

For instance, when Paul wrote to the Philippians and said, “Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for what God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” That pretty much sums up the answer to a lot of dilemma’s.

There are some things I’ve had to nip and some that have been nipped for me, but either way, I get what Paul is saying when he claimed he knew to forget what all has taken place in the past and just move on. That word “Press” says a lot!

On some occasions my “No” was because I had something better planned for the kids, I just couldn’t tell them until the time was right. Which also meant that they couldn’t keep pouting and dwelling on what they hoped for, and they needed to get their focus on the task at hand.  

God has a destination for His children, and although there will be things that bring us value as we continue to reach the goal for the cause of Christ, there will also be much that tries to hold our mind directly on what is worthless. The Lord may be gentler when He wants us to get over something, but there will also be times that we may have to just nip what holds us back so we can press on!

~Question: “Is there something that God has tried to help you get-over, but you keep looking behind?”

The Bible says in Philippians 3:15 “Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. But we must hold on to the progress we have already made.“