CRY

Most Southern Gospel fans will know the song I’m referring to in the last part of the chorus by Gerald Crabb, “I try to look strong as the whole world looks on, but sometimes alone I cry.” I’m not one to necessarily hide the fact that I cry, but around Mother I do my best to cover it up, in the hope that she wouldn’t think it’s because of her. But I will admit that I don’t know how many times I’ve played the part of having my faith by the tail and lied to myself and others about how good I was really doing. (The lyrics in that song says it all.)

For example: I’ve managed in times past to keep it together while waiting for my groceries to be bagged, because if I had answered with the truth in reference to the repetitive greeting for everyone, well, let’s just say the manager would have needed to open another check out because my honesty would have involved a huge melt-down when I was asked, “How are you doing today.”

But I’ve also been known to walk into a sanctuary and hear the very message that described or convicted me, along with an altar call, and if I had only obeyed the stirring that was going on from within, I could have easily been set free. Yet, I quenched the Holy Spirit even more by rising from the pew; speaking, smiling, and leaving the same way I entered the building!

Why do we do that? Why do we go through the motions and convince ourselves if we just keep going forward it means everything will eventually work out? (In some ways, isn’t that the same thing an addict does?) Why are we reluctant to acknowledge that it’s impossible to do this in our own strength? Why do we walk in defeat instead of going to our prayer closet relentlessly or taking our time at an altar of prayer? Is it like that song goes, “Because the whole world looks on……”?  That just makes it easier to fake-it, now doesn’t’ it? Is it that we are afraid we will hold someone up from going to eat their meal if we stay too long? All the while the bread of life and living water awaits our hungry and thirsty soul. If we are in a church setting, are we more concerned about what others would think if we made a beeline down the aisle? Or could it just be an excuse to avoid our conviction, whether in public or in private?

Confessing and sharing my faults with others is the easy part, but surrendering all my will and plans to God, now that’s where it can get a little sticky if you ask me. What do you think? (Use caution with your thoughts or actions, because the Bible says that when you help to restore the transgressor, to keep watch, lest you too be tempted.)  

The absolute truth is that a prayer of admitting that we desperately need Him isn’t always enough. Undoubtedly, it’s when we choose to get up and walk in the Spirit of Christ, that afterwards we can profoundly move ahead. (And to that I cry out – O God help us!)

~Question: Do you cry alone? Do you lose sleep? Do you struggle to get it right, whether it’s in your faith or even in how you treat or feel about others? Do you need to surrender again?

~Prayer: Precious Lord, in the mighty name of Jesus, let it be as David prayed, that you would create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your Holy Spirit from me. Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way of everlasting.

~The Bible says in Psalm 51: 17 “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart – These O God, You will not despise.”

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~Galatians 5:16-17 “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh, and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things you wish.”